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The Murder Mystery Memories series is contributed by Jessica Ruano of the Ottawa Arts Newsletter. More memories are being added each week!

Murder Mystery Memory #1: Natalie Joy Quesnel

My first Eddie May role was Moxie in Razzle Dazzle Die. I was eased into the murder mystery style with lots of rehearsal, a friendly cast and a long-run that allowed me to get used to the unpredictable experience of dinner theatre. Then one day I got a call from Noel Counsil asking me if I could sub-in for a sick actor that was supposed to perform in a private party… that night! I learned a whole new part in four hours, drove to a location I’d never been to before and performed with people I had just met. The show went amazingly well – other than the fact that my gun got caught in the back of my pants. I’d never felt cold metal on that part of my body before. It was a crazy experience, but I was hooked. The adrenaline rush you can get from performing with Eddie May is addictive!

Murder Mystery Memory #2: Rick Kaulbars

Years ago, I was in a show with a good friend, an older actor, who played a cantankerous millionaire who would walk around in a bathrobe griping about his many medical complaints. We were doing a roadshow and this actor suited up and headed out to the conference room where we’d been hired to perform this mystery. Unfortunately, he walked into the wrong conference room.

When we found him he was pacing through a room of astonished strangers (who HADN’T hired a murder mystery show and didn’t know what this guy was doing)…dressed in his bathrobe, raving about his painful anal stenosis.

Favorite story.

Murder Mystery Memory #3: Robin Guy

You know that dream where you arrive at the theatre, don’t know where your costume is, have never rehearsed the show…. working for Eddie May is like that for real, sometimes. There is a sort of club of performers who have done emergency stand-ins for Eddie May. My own went something like this.

Deadly Desperate Housewives was the summer show of 2007. I wasn’t cast in the show but on the Friday morning before opening night I received panicked emails and phone calls to the effect that the gal playing “Brie” had laryngitis of a severity that she was actually completely silent. Could I come to the final rehearsal tonight and learn the blocking… and when the voice was not back on Saturday, I pulled a Natalie Quesnel and learned the lines (including the killer’s summation!) in 24 hours and did the show on Saturday night.

The script got crammed into my short term memory and the rest of the cast gently pushed and pulled me through the blocking and a dance number. Amazingly, the audience was none the wiser… only with this kind of a team could you pull that off!

Murder Mystery Memory #4: Zach Counsil

One time the company went on a road show to River Edge Resort. For the trip, we had to get passports and temporary Visas for all the performers; some of us travelled in a car, and others went along in a van. Now the car reached the resort safely, but the van was held up at the border. Unfortunately, one of our actors named Richard Gélinas shared his name with a serial killer that was at large at the time. So he was held for interrogation for quite awhile. And, of course, insisting that you are a travelling actor is never a likely alibi.

One performance at the resort – oh, Richard was eventually released, by the way, and joined us for the show – had to stop because a fire alarm went off. It just so happened that the culprit was the owner of a competing murder mystery company, and he was trying to ruin our show. Thankfully he was caught by security and hasn’t bothered us (much) since.

Murder Mystery Memory #5: Dee Dee Butters

We were doing the show ‘Greased’ at the National Arts Centre and my character was Rizzo. I stalked around looking ticked off all night since that was Rizzo’s main emotion. At one point a very cheerful audience member told me that he thought I was the one murdering my fellow greasers: he said he was going to keep his eye on me! I responded by pointing my two fingers at my eyes then pointing them at his eyes to demonstrate that I was “watchin’ him right back”. He thought this was great and put his hand between his eyes like the three stooges. Of course I followed his lead and did the classic ‘one-handed eye-poke’ move.

As it turns out, he must have had a very small hand because my fingers were much longer than the span of his palm and I ended up fully poking my fingers in both of his eyes! We both howled with laughter.

Murder Mystery Memory #6: Dan Lajoie

In one of my first shows with Eddie May we were performing the long running road show, Murder By the Book, at a resort in Gananoque. The first death in the show was played by Tim Mooney, and after spewing blood Tim showered and then went for a dip in the resorts pool. Tim leisurely passed the time while the rest of us toiled away. For years after that event I waited for my opportunity to go for a swim and relax while in a show, and one day, several years later the opportunity presented itself.We were in Kingston, at the Ambassador Hotel, performing Show Biz is Murder and I was the first death.

Having been to this hotel before I knew they had an awesome pool and spa area, so I came prepared with my bathing suit. After dying, I quickly showered, put my bathing suit on and ventured out to the pool. I was disappointed to see that the pool was filled with high school kids aged 12 through 15, feeling that it would be inappropriate and not very relaxing to swim with them. I decided, therefore to go to the hot tub and relax, but when I arrived it to was filled with the damn teenage kids. So I decided to hit the sauna, which thankfully was empty.

However, upon entering the sauna I realized that the its big bay window looked over the hot tub, and sitting opposite the hot tub, looking at me, were these kids parents/teachers. Again I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t want these people to think I was being a creepy voyeur, so after spending a few minutes in the sauna , I realized I was more tense than I was when I first entered and I decided to go back to the cast room. Feeling completely dejected I decided to take a bath in the room…. my dejection was further heightened when I had to share the bath with Jody Haucke, the shows second death. Together we ate in the bath and suffered the scorn of our cast mates.

Murder Mystery Memory #7: Shawna McSheffrey

I have so many fabulous memories of Eddie May, it is so hard to pick just one. I have been reading some of my fellow actors’ stories and smiling at all the funny moments we have shared together.

One of my first shows with Eddie May, dare I say 13 years ago, was a road show for an office party and it was taking place in the ballroom of a hotel. I got in my costume, which was a skimpy red cocktail dress. I was playing a tramp….again. Noel Counsil escorted me into the room so I could schmooze with the audience. I began introducing myself and generally acting trampy.

I was getting some stares and funny looks but I didn’t think anything of it because sometimes it takes the audience awhile to warm up to fully interactive theatre. Some time past and I began to wonder where the rest of the actors were. Then I saw Noel standing in the doorway looking very worried. He saw me and pulled my out of the room, apologizing profusely. He had sent me into the wrong ballroom! I had been flirting and making a fool out of myself for a convention of CPA’s – not the office party that ordered the murder mystery.

Murder Mystery Memory #8: Dan Lalande

I performed my first show for Eddie May in the summer of ’89.

As anyone from that era will remember, half of the shows took place at the MacDonald Club, a dilapidated old house off Elgin Street. The shows began on the main floor, moved to a dining area upstairs for the second act, then made their way back down again for summation/ dessert.

Dessert a la Mac Club was usually a large, birthday-style cake, which the staff made a habit of setting out just as the guests upstairs were finishing their meals.

One night, a disgruntled audience was giving co-star Stewart Baine and I a particularly hard time – so hard that he and I snuck downstairs during the show to commiserate. That’s when my enterprising mind spotted the cake.. “Let’s put our asses in it,” I suggested. “Are you nuts?,” asked the incredulous Baine. So, working solo, I pulled down my pants and pressed my butt cheeks into the night’s dessert**. So skinny was I at the time, however, that instead of leaving the contemptuous message I had hoped, my rear simply reshaped the cake into a kind of sugar-filled cliff.

Nevertheless, revenge was mine: minutes later, there the audience was, listening to detective Noel Counsil rattle off his summation while innocently gulping down a mix of flour, icing and Dan Lalande’s ass hair – all while trying to figure out why Baine and I were giggling helplessly.

If I could not tell this uppity audience to kiss my ass, then I would arrange for my butt cheeks and their lips to meet some other way!

** Dearly beloved audience members, Please be assured that there is only a 0.01% percent chance that this will happen to you at future performance!

Murder Mystery Memory #9: Victor Cornfoot

About six or seven years ago, we – Jody Haucke, Riley Stewart, and myself – were performing in a show called Where There’s a Will There’s a Wake. We had to pull this stunt in which we flip this framed picture and it goes from having a scarf to no scarf. We had a different lighting guy that night, and he brought up the lights about fifteen seconds too soon while we were standing onstage. So one of us quickly threw the backing behind the stage and then threw the scarf over the frame in a hurry, just hoping the audience wouldn’t notice.

Another time this synthesizer went off that may one character’s voice sound like an evil person, and it did not fit the scene at all. One of our actors wouldn’t stop laughing, so the show had to be stopped for five whole minutes.

Oh, and one time I hit Alix Sideris with a wooden beam.

Murder Mystery Memory #10: Adam King

Last year I was asked to spearhead the tech crew for the Eddie May Christmas show. Each actor within the cast had worked with me before and knows I’m a guy who likes to have a little fun on the job, and being that I am confident in my abilities as a stage manager, I gave no concern to keeping the cast in line, per se, both on and off stage.

It was the second, or perhaps third, night of the show and as I gave the half hour call and let the house in everyone backstage was preparing: Shawna was deep in her script, mouthing lines; Jordan was grinning wildly, to whomever walked past; Dan was thrusting his bare balls, inches from Stewart’s face… the usual backstage banter of an Eddie May show, of course.

After a final places call, I take to the lighting board with Ashley Proulx beside me on sound and we open the show to great applause. The actors are engaged in their table talk, the first death is fresh and juicy, and everything is running to plan after the first death. As Dan, playing Freddie Batts, heads to the green room for his blood treatment, and second death sequence of the night, I smell a hint of mischief in the air. Could Dan potentially pull a ‘Lajoie’, as some may say? But do recall: I am confident in my ability to keep everyone in order on and off stage. So, Dan is wheeled out onto the stage in his wheelchair, the death begins with a shrieking delight of horror from the audience, and I head to the stage and begin my “not another dead-body” routine…

When all of sudden there arose such a clatter, I turned to face Dan and see what was the matter…

He began a slow and heavy slide out from the wheelchair onto the stage before I could catch him. So, I proceed to lift this limp, blood-drenched, mammoth to his feet with very little success, as he turns to avoid my grip and I become more and more wet with stage blood. Then, Stewart Matthews, tasting revenge from Dan’s antics earlier in the evening, begins to de-pant the fresh corpse that is Freddie Batts. After several attempts at getting Dan up to his feet and into the wheelchair, Stewart has managed to drop Dan’s pants down by his ankles and the soft breeze that flows through the National Arts Centre’s Salon drifts into Dan’s, rather open might I say, boxer-shorts that reveal what display we had witnessed earlier in the green room. As I shake my head and wheel the slightly bare-balled Lajoie offstage I think to myself, “Only in Eddie May…”

Alllllright, there ya’ have it ladies and gentlemen… justice has been served.

Murder Mystery Memory #11: Jody Haucke

We arrived at the side of the Ottawa River on a very brisk night one October evening to perform a show aboard a small party liner like you would go on for your grad cruise; you know the ones, two stories with a dining room and an upstairs patio. I was playing the first victim of the night who faked his own death and returns at the end of the show and has to stay covered in blood the entire time, hiding in back somewhere. However, a boat has no back room; in fact the only room I could possibly hide in was the Captain’s control room. But no one is allowed in there except the Captain and the first mate even though the room was about 10 feet by 10 feet wide. So I had to hide covered in blood on the front of the boat in a 4 foot by 4 foot area in the cold October air on the river, slathered in stage blood with only a towel to keep me warm for over an hour. I was finally able to warm up a bit when Trevor Payer brought me some food that was all beige, because when he went to buffet he did not have his glasses on, and his character was wearing sun glasses in the dark, but according to Trevor most beige food is pretty good.

Murder Mystery Memory #12: Bruce Cooke – Part 1

Bruce Cooke was fabulous enough to have sent me dozens of Eddie May memories, so I’m including his entry as a two-part series in order to include as many as possible. You may notice that some parts are in italics: that’s Noel Counsil (Eddie May Crime Minister) putting in his two cents. Enjoy!

~~~

BC: I forget the guy’s name. He was a weird guy who kicked me out of my room in Quebec because he wanted to meditate. Anyway, he surely holds the record for the world’s longest death. I figure it lasted about 50 miles! He was supposed to walk in… go all the way to the other end of the rail car, shoot himself with a hair dryer, and then stagger all back through the rail car so that we would only have to carry him about 5 feet into the safe car. Instead, he shot himself, staggered all the way to the far end of the rail car, died, then we had to carry him all the way back through the car, and every two rows he would come back to life!

NC: What was the name of that weird guy? You almost got a hernia carrying him through the train car.

BC: We played in long thin places (the urban pear), huge places (pick a hotel banquet room), trains, impossible places. The white house in Stittsville. Four rooms on the main floor of the restaurant, no sight lines, we had to walk from room to room and repeat every line so all the guests could hear us.

NC: The Ottawa River Boat … after we killed Jeff Lawson we had to hide him on the front of the boat. It was cold and windy and there was some spray. We buried him under blankets and brought him hot drinks from time to time. He said he was tempted to jump off and swim for shore rather than freeze till the end of the show.

BC: Remember the hockey show and that guy (name gone again) on the roller blades rolling around the pub with 100 people!

NC: John Vautour. He ran over an actress’ foot, maybe Chris Short.

BC: The other story I love is the time we were at Strathmere and we were in the house, in the banquet room down at the back. The stage was at the north end of the room, and Norm was questioning a suspect about his role in Johnson Moretti’s death. Just then, who walks by the window in that way that only he can walk, with his suitcase and his plastic shopping back on his way out to his car to head back to town… in front of the entire audience who is looking directly at the window as Norm is leading the questions!

NC: He was wearing a straw hat, very casual. A dead guy never looked more comfortable.

BC: Then there was the time that we played the Tannery in Carleton Place. It was one of those semi-corporate shows where we booked a large group from a company and filled the remaining seats with walk-ins. The company in question chose that particular Friday afternoon to lay off most of the people that were coming to the show. One lady was particularly tough to handle! Was that also the night that I left the room, and then forgot something and strode back through the swinging door and knocked you senseless?

NC: Yep. But only after that 60 pound art display made out of antique iron tools collapsed and fell on me. Almost knocked me cold. I started to crawl out of the room on my hands and knees and when I got to the swinging door, out you came. Ka-blam. I went down for the count. Next thing I knew you had me on my feet and were walking me into the kitchen. I still have the scars…

Murder Mystery Memory #13: Bruce Cooke – Part 2

BC: How many misfired guns? One time in Hudson we were doing the art show, and Gene make a sculpture of spoons, forks, knives and sugar. He called it “Knife off, spoon off, fork off”. I called it “Sweet fork all”. Later that night the gun would not fire and Gene grabbed a bunch of cutlery, causing Kathy Knight to say “oh what are you going to do now, fork me to death?”

NC: My first show at the MW was Deep Sleep. Stewart Bain mentioned the Scottish play backstage. Des Hanlon, an old Irish actor, warned him to break the curse by going outside and spitting and praying and such but Bain laughed at him. Des said the show would be jinxed. Des had to fire a gun at the end of the performance. Thirteen shows. Never fired once. But I fired it before the show. And after the show. And it always fired. Des never forgave Stewart. And at the end of the 13th performance, Des threw the gun across the room and stormed off stage. Wouldn’t come out for his curtain call. We still have the gun. It still fires.

BC: I was not there, but what about the time that Stuart Bain put that guy through a window for firing the cross bow!

NC: I’m not sure it was for firing the cross bow. I think it was just a drunk attending a corporate gig at Christmas. They’d been drinking (open bar) all afternoon and when we got there everyone was plastered. The guy wouldn’t stop shoving Stuart around. Finally he just lost his temper and put the guy through the glass door. The guy’s boss sent him home, apologized, and paid for the door.

BC: Finally there was the show… I forget the name, it was not Deep Sleep, but it was similar, there were more than the usual number of women in the cast, and there was a camera gun… Anyway, I was the lover photographer of someone in the cast (Kathy I think) and we were playing in Arnprior or some place for the Kinettes… within five minutes they had my pants undone and around my knees! Seriously!

NC: I remember. I seem to remember hosting that show. It was in Kinburn for the Kinburn Kinettes. I walked in with an arm load of props and saw you standing disrobed in the middle of the room. I knew I couldn’t salvage the situation so I walked right back out again. And remember the broad who took her own clothes off backstage for (again) Stewart Bain? In the little alcove under the stairs at the Mac Club? He was playing Eddie May and she wanted him to tell her the identity of the killer before the end of the show. She was prepared to make it worth his while. She was down to her brassiere when I walked in on them. I sent him packing to do his summation and told her to get dressed and stay on the other side of the Out of Bounds sign. Remember when that sign used to mean something!?

BC: We also did weddings. We did the Modern Dry Cleaners wedding where I had to literally bar the doors to prevent people from going home after the show, or they would miss the wedding (but I couldn’t tell them that!) We did that wedding at the MW and from what I heard, the couple lasted 6 months before he had a piece on the side, which almost got him bobbitised when his wife found out! We also did a wedding for a guy that I work with at Stats. It was a good thing that we were there because the entire group of assembled guests never said more than five words; if we had not been there, there would have been four hours of complete silence!

NC: Did you do the wedding at Strathmere? The first “Meanwhile, Back at the Raunch”? the groom hired us to do the show, but he didn’t tell his bride we’d be the entertainment. Johnson was Waylon Howell, Dan Baran was Britches the Clown, Lorraine was Tammy Whynot, Craig Steenburgh was (?), I was Eddie May. A bunch of American rodeo hayseeds are smuggling steroids into Canada … in between really awful country and western songs. The bride wasn’t impressed. At first she was shocked. Then she was angry. Then she simply faded into the wallpaper while we sang “Steroid Stew”. I always wanted to know how long she stayed with her new husband after he pulled that on her.

BC: One time we were on our way to a show at that hotel right next to the border and before we realised it, we were in no man’s land, with a truck full of actors, and weapons! Thank God we had sense enough to talk to Canada customs before we tried to get back in to the country!

NC: I’m amazed we’re not in jail.

Murder Mystery Memory #14: Thea Nikolic

Now that I think about it, I have had several underwear mishaps at Eddie May over the years. Let’s see, there was the show for the Jewish Bowling club (with the meanest little old lady ever, but that’s another story) and I was playing Dorothy Slayers in Murder by the Book. I forgot to wear appropriate underwear(stuff you can get blood on) and I was wearing a rather lovely pair of underpants. Naturally I did not want to get blood on them, as Dorothy gets stabbed at one point, so I went commando (will not be the first time I do this, more later). Everything was going fine until I had to die, and getting to the floor in a skirt while trying not to flash the old Jewish bowlers was interesting to say the least. This was back when Bruce Cooke didn’t know me very well and I think I shocked him a little bit. But he managed to get me on the stretcher with no problems or peeking, I hope.

Second time I had an underwear issue, I was playing Breathless Maloney for the first time in the last show we ever did at the Marble Works (sniff) and I was wearing a slinky red dress that left nothing to the imagination, and guess what, I was wearing the WORST underwear for that dress. The pantylines were awful. So what do I do half an hour before the show (remember I said there was another story…) I went commando again. I had pantyhose on with the reinforced crotch area and everything was going swimmingly. Then the death came, when I died in Kris Joseph’s arms as Eddie May and he laid me on the floor, my dress started to slide up. He knew about my predicament and preceded to pull my dress down with a huge smile on his face, then Dee Dee Butters who was playing Tess Tearheart started to lose it then me on the floor juggling away and Kris. It was another kind of corpse to join the bevy of them on the floor.

Finally, I was playing Rizzo in our Grease spoof and I was wearing and pair of powder blue cordoroy capris. Halfway through the show, I sing “Look at me I’m Sandra Dee” and I do this Elvis grind thing on the jukebox we had on stage. I did not notice anything but as soon as the number was done, Sean Toohey rushes me offstage sayi he has something to tell my character. I didn’t want to go because I wanted to do more tabletalk but he insisted. We got backstage and he told me that I had completely split my pants in the back. I looked and I had split then all the way up and down the back, and not along the seam, so NOT fixable. Plus everyone behind me during the song could see it while I was singing. Not to mention that I had turned around with my back to the audience in the song after the incident. Toughgirl Rizzo was wearing white flowery underwear that night, and I had the change my pants to my jeans.

Murder Mystery Memory #15: Jeff Lawson

Tom Vaillancourt was stage managing and I was the first death out at Strathmere House. It was early evening when I ‘died’ and, since I was drenched in blood, Tom and I were looking to avoid using the same washroom as the guests in order to clean me off. One of us spotted the pool area outside…with a hose. Out we went, I stripped my bloody shirt off and Tom (with a smoke dangling from his mouth) began to hose the blood off of my bare chest and back. The water was as frigid as you would imagine so I was squealing a bit and Tom was laughing…as a troupe of girl guides marched out from around the corner of the main building to see the smoking man hosing off the very bloody topless man, both of them seeming to quite enjoy themselves. Awkward.

Murder Mystery Memory #16: Jess Preece

I remember one of the first shows that I tech’ed was for a bunch of quilters at Algonquin College. They all arrived and had displays of their quilts and they all made hats that were up for auction, many of which had macaroni glued to them. Anyways, while we were setting up for the show we decided that it would be best to use some incredibly obvious nearly neon spike tape to highlight all of our stands. So we proceeded to spend quite a bit of time taping of everything that jutted out even in the slightest way. But without fail one of the seniors tripped on a lighting stand crashing into the floor splitting a lip, and had to have an ambulance called for her. After that debacle was finished we couldn’t have the music loud enough for the seniors at the back, or quiet enough for the ones that we’re conversing with each other instead of paying attention to the show. But at the end of the day there was a couple tables right in front of the stage who absolutely loved every second of the evening. And those are the ones that make, even the most difficult evenings, all worth while!

Murder Mystery Memory 17: Tom Vaillancourt

I started with Eddie May Mysteries in February of 1995; since 1999 I’ve been calling myself…er acting as the companies Production Manager. Over the past several years there have been many, many, shows and events worth mentioning; like the time in a show called RCMPuleeeze Dan Lajoie was playing the character of Red Serge and graced the stage with his version of Bruno meets Jean Guy the fry guy of Gatineau. After Dan dropped to the stage floor during his death scene I came running out with the stretcher to place his dead carcass on; it just so happened that there was table of 10 ladies celebrating a bachelorette party stage to the right of where Dan’s body lay. While lifting him onto the stretcher I proceeded to grab him at the midsection of his tightly fit spandex dance pants and lifted straight up. Well, when the filthy deed was done and Dan was about to be carried out for his final ride I looked down to see him convulsing with laughter I then looked around to see what was UP and what to my surprise arose such a clatter was I had just shown the table of bachelorette ladies Dan’s sweaty untrimmed red serge! I had not only grabbed his pants but the dance belt as well. We do advertise our shows as great for bachelorette parties… and on this particular night there was no detesting our promise! All we could do was laugh our way off stage and out the door leaving the rest of the sold out crowd – except for that lucky table of ladies – perplexed as to what had just happened.

Murder Mystery Memory #18: Shaun Toohey

A couple of summers ago we were doing Survivor, a strange show which required us to tranport large quantities of gummy worms coated in cake crumbs in our mouths, sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” and at one point do a odd sort of African tribal dance in grass skirts with our faces covered in glow in the dark make up. I was playing the killer in that show and during summation I would return to the stage deranged, covered in blood and then get stabbed.

This one particular night I was getting a ride home after the show with Shawna McSheffery (as I did most nights… thanks Shawna) and she was in a hurry because she was going out after. She graciously waited while I quickly cleaned the blood and paint off my face but she was so anxious to leave that she didn’t even change her clothes, she just grabbed her bag and we headed out. As we walked threw the crowded Saturday night in the Market crowds to her car she remarked to me that people were staring at her. I then reminded her that in her hurry to leave she had neglected to wash her own face and she was still covered in vibrant pink glow in the dark face paint. We got even more stares after we sat down on York Street and laughed our asses off.

Murder Mystery Memory #19: Noel Counsil

It was the summer of 1987 and I was new in the company. I was doing my third or fourth mystery and we were playing a gig at the Pembroke Best Western. It was for a corporate group having a weekend retreat, and the mystery was supposed to kick off the weekend and liven things up a bit, get the execs’ juices flowing.

I was still a rookie, so the director gave me a simple assignment. I was supposed to take a seat at the bar next to an attractive young lady – one of the cast, of course – and while she was engaging me in flirtatious conversation another actor would sneak up behind me and drop something into my drink. Then both characters would slip out of the room. Disappointed, I would knock back the drink, clutch my throat, and fall off the bar stool. The stage manager and a helper would drag me out of the bar and into our change room. Piece of cake, what could go wrong?

I found out about three seconds after I hit the floor and played dead. Y’see, the boss of the company that hired us thought it would be really fun if he didn’t tell his employees that they were going to be involved in a theatrical murder mystery. He also neglected to tell the hotel management – and consequently the other guests in the bar – that someone was going to die a horrible death from poisoning in the Best Western’s cocktail lounge. And one of those guests was a big, burly guy sitting next to me at the bar. Suddenly I heard the guy shout “stand back, everybody! I’m a professional fire fighter! This man is having a seizure of some kind! Call 911! I’ll give him first aid!”

Next thing I know the man was giving me CPR. Two huge hands (he must have weighed in at 280) started heaving away on my chest.

This wasn’t in the script. I promptly dropped character and came back to life. Eyes wide with alarm, I started to tell him everything was OK, it was all just an act, but he was working my chest so hard I couldn’t get out a sound. And just when I finally got enough breath to speak, one of his brawny fists pried my jaw open while the other hand pinched my nose shut, and yes, before I could utter a single word he had covered my mouth with his own and began blowing vast quantities of air down my throat.

He blew me up like a balloon. I thought I was going to explode. I tried to crawl out from under the guy but he was too big to throw off, and he succeeded in pumping the requisite 6-8 breaths into me before resuming the chest massage. “I think the lad’s comin’ around, but we’ll keep her up until the parameds get here!” he announced to the crowd.

It was the crowd itself that saved me. Or at least the actors in the crowd. Somehow the cast – there were at least a half a dozen – managed to pull the firefighter off me. He didn’t give up easily. “What the hell are ya doin, I’m trying to save this guy’s life!” he shouted as they wrestled him to the other end of the room. I regained my feet and was out of the room like a shot. The last thing I heard was the stage manager desperately trying to calm my bewildered benefactor, who (they later told me) was determined to stay with his patient until the ambulance finally arrived … which it did in a few short minutes.

The parameds were not amused. They insisted I accompany them to the Pembroke General Hospital. I was examined and released with minor injuries. Nor was the firefighter. I guess the stage manager had to buy him drinks the rest of the night to calm his nerves. Nor the hotel manager. They told me he asked us never to come back to his hotel.

But the big boss thought it was hilarious, and his employees gave us a standing ovation. He hired us for another gig later that same summer. Different hotel. We put an actor face down in the swimming pool. He breathed through a tube connected to a floatie which he hid under his body. Freaked out a lot of the patrons. The hotel asked us never to come back. But that’s another story…

Murder Mystery Memory #20: Jessica Ruano
(photo of Jessica by Paul Kohler)

My turn! Unlike most people who submitted anecdotes to this cause, I have not been with the company for very long, only for a mere few months. But in that time, I feel like I have gotten to know the members of Eddie May and understood the appeal of the company for the performers and audience members alike. As publicist, I organized a number of fun promotional events, including a charity performance, an anniversary performance, and a Criminal Cocktail Hour, and I entered the company into the Ottawa Theatre Challenge, at which they were awarded the coveted Rubber Chicken Prize. Go team!

One of my favourite activities thus far has been putting together a photo-op for the actors, conducted by Andrew Alexander and featuring any and all past and present members of the company. We put all the costumes, hats, weapons, and accessories on display across a dozen tables. Eddie May has quite the wardrobe and arsenal! Two of our actors, Stewart Matthews and Natalie Joy Quesnel, brought with them their two beautiful daughters, one of them practically a new born. Now that’s dedication.
Eddie May Company

For the group shot, we had all 18 actors posed as if about to kill each other with various weapons. Of course Stewart and Natalie had to be in the shot, and of course the elder daughter wanted to be there with them. She didn’t seem very pleased with me when I tried to hold her back. So for another shot, we decided to incorporate the whole family, including Natalie’s mother, Brenda Joy Quesnel. I love this photo, not only because it showcases three generations of fabulous women, but also because it really captures the family aspect of Eddie May: people who have been working together and growing up together for years, playing stupid jokes on each other, and generally having a really great time. Here’s to another 25 years!

To view the photos, check out the entry on Jessica Ruano's blog.

Murder Mystery Memory #21: Brenda Joy Quesnel
(photo of Brenda by Andrew Alexander)

As a relatively new member of the Eddie May team, my “memories “ are mostly about the terror that I felt on a few of occasions. To say that, for me, doing an Eddie May Murder Mystery, is like being thrown into the deep end of the pool, is huge understatement. I may be a recent member of this company but still I have been known to “tread the boards” a time or two. However, the way this company combines improv and scripted bits with audience participation was something I had never experienced, at least not to this extent. My first show, as Paula Alcool in “Idol Threats”, found me hiding up the stairs, more than the other actors. Or I was in the bathroom….which I seemed to need more often than normal. Just when I thought I had this thing figured out, my first performance, in my second Eddie May show was happening. I was about to play Mrs. Peacock in ‘Without A Clue.”

The show had been up and running quite successfully for some time, but that night we had a three new cast members… including myself. My confidence was…well…I certainly was feeling my opening night jitters. Unlike the last show I was in, this show had “cast in stone” blocking to which I was trying to adhere. Damn! There really wasn’t enough free time for me to hide in the stairwell. Well, we were off and running and I was almost over the feeling that I was going to toss my cookies or worse, when a gentleman (and I use that term very loosely) arrived and in his quite obvious state of inebriation, disrupted the proceedings. The lovely Velvet Room staff handled that situation very well, as always.

Then I heard this noise that certainly didn’t sound like any sound cue I had heard in rehearsals. It was the fire alarm! The show came to a halt as the building was evacuated. Thank goodness if was a false alarm. With everyone back in from the cold we started up where we left off. Apparently it when well after that. I am not quite sure, I truly think went to my “happy place”. You don’t have to be crazy to perform on stage, but it doesn’t hurt! And cue music: “They’re coming to take me away. Ha, Ha! To the Funny Farm”.

Murder Mystery Memory #22: Scott Florence

For years and years and years and more years than that, Eddie May toured in Big Blue. The biggest, beat-upiest, loudest passenger van that ever was. The stories around the van are legion and legendary… I only wish I was present when the back window popped out while the van was running because someone (was it Bruce Cooke? Rick Currie?) mooning the cast members riding in a car behind… or the time (was it Bruce Cooke? Rick Currie?) someone was interrupted in their amourous clench in the back seat. The van was a big, ugly beast to drive, and came with an unusual feature – a built in back seat driver in the form of every other actor in the cast who knew how to drive the van better than you did. My most memorable van moment…

I remember – I hesitate to use the word ‘fondly’ – driving the van through a blizzard to get to Pembroke for a New Year’s Eve show. We were running very late – had gotten off to a late start – and the blizzard was making sure we couldn’t make up any time. It was only myself, Rick Kaulbars and his lovely better half in the van, and we knew that at best we were going to arrive at show time (with all the equipment that needed to be set up before the show could actually start!) and were more likely to be arriving up to 30 minutes past the show start. Needless to say, tension was high in the van, and there wasn’t any real possibility to stop – not only were we that late, but who could see an exit where you might pull off? Not wanting to cause any trouble, Michelle quietly and without telling either Rick or myself what was going on, peed into a bottle and then tossed it out the window. We had no idea why she suddenly decided to open up the window, and it was only years later we learned the truth.

Eddie May Murder Mysteries celebrates 25 years with a bang! For this silver anniversary celebration, the company stages a murder mystery musical Eddie Get Your Gun, created by Noel Counsil and Dan Lalande, directed by Thea Nikolic. The show plays Saturday evenings through the summer at Scarlett’s Dinner Theatre in the Byward Market.

For more information, please call 613 850 9700 or visit www.eddiemay.com